my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
