I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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