I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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