just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
