i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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