Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
