I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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