Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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