i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
