im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
