it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
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His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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