@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
