If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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