It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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