Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
