Who did Billy Mays play for?
it was like eating out sand paper
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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