Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
