stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
