i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
