Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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