"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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