brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize