I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
