His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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