So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
