And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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