Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
