worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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