my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
