I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
