Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
