so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
