He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
