Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
