Porn is love you can see.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
