I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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