I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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