therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my sisters under your porch take her home
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I could fuck to npr.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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