its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
