I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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