garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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