so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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