my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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