I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
