she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
