I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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