After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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