ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Jerry, you need to find god
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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