So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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