I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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