You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
