Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
