I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The adults are the big ones right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
