all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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