make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize