I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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