sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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