We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
