YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm like, not good at living.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
