hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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