Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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