Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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