She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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