i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
